A Thousand Years
by xThisGirlIsOnFirex
Summary: Santana is battling an eating disorder. Can Kurt and Rachel help her get her life back on track before it's too late?
1. Bad Moods

A Thousand Years

**Summary: Santana is battling an eating disorder. Can Kurt and Rachel help her get her life back on track before it's too late?**

Chapter One: Bad Moods

"So, what have we got for dinner then?" Kurt questioned Rachel as he walked into the kitchen. They usually took turns cooking the dinner and this time it was Rachel's turn, meaning that it probably didn't involve meat seeing as she was a vegan.

"I am cooking a lovely vegetable stir-fry," Rachel said, smiling but then noticed the look on Kurt's face. "Oh don't look like that. Look, I have been nice enough to cook you meat before whilst I have something else and it's your turn to cook tomorrow so you can make whatever you want for you and Santana then, okay? I am sorry but tonight, no meat."

"It's fine, Rach," Kurt laughed. "Honestly, I'm sure it will taste absolutely gorgeous because you my darling are a fabulous cook."

"Thank you," she thanked him. "Now, that is what I like to hear. Santana!" She called through to Santana's bedroom, knowing that the Latina had been hiding in there for the majority of the evening. "Santana, dinner!"

"She's probably got her earphones in," Kurt mumbled and rolled his eyes before sitting down at the table. Rachel served the dinner up and sat down opposite him as Santana soon walked into the kitchen. "And she emerges at last," Kurt joked.

"Haha," Santana said sarcastically and sat down. "Can I eat this in my room?"

"No," Kurt said. "You have spent enough time in there this evening and you'll probably get it all over the floor and if you haven't noticed, I cleaned this place earlier."

"I had noticed and no I won't," Santana said. "I am not a messy eater so can I eat it in my room?"

"Santana, just eat with us," Rachel said, tucking into her meal. "We have barely seen much of you today, what have you even been doing in there?"

"I was on my laptop," Santana told them both and shrugged her shoulders. She sighed deeply and picked up her fork, beginning to stab at her plateful. "And what is this?"

"Vegetable stir-fry," Kurt pointed out as he ate. "And Rachel has been hard at work cooking this up for us so eat it, okay? This actually isn't bad Rach."

"See, I told you," Rachel said. "And Santana, it's either this or toast."

"Okay, when did you two suddenly become my parents?" Santana questioned. "In case you hadn't realised, I am nineteen and can take care of myself."

"Really?" Kurt scoffed. "When are we going to see that then?" Santana slammed down her fork and stood up from the table. "Santana. San, I...I was joking," he said but Santana just stormed out of the kitchen and went back to her bedroom. "It was a joke," Kurt whispered.

"I know." Rachel held her hands up defensively. "I know, just leave her. She's in a bad mood, maybe she's on her period or something...I don't know but just leave her and eat, please."

* * *

Santana shut her bedroom door behind her and flopped down onto her bed, slowly lifting the lid of her laptop and sticking her pink earphones into her ears. She turned up the volume to 'Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls' and scrolled down the webpage that she was looking at:

Ten Top Tips To Losing Weight Quickly

1 - Eat your 5 a day (fruit, veg)

2 - Exercise daily (jogging helps a lot)

3 - Have small snacks of fruit

4 - Watch the alcohol

5 - Turn off the TV

6 - Make sure to get plenty of sleep

7 - Weigh yourself daily

8 - Avoid takeouts (Chinese, pizza)

9 - Go to the gym

10 - Avoid junk food like chocolate, candy and chips

Santana nodded her head and continued to listen to the sad song as she read the tips. Her door then opened and Kurt walked in. Santana quickly slammed the lid of her laptop down and removed her earphones before sitting bolt upright.

"You okay there?" He asked and she nodded, putting on a smile. "So, what have you been doing?"

"Just um...playing games," Santana lied to him.

"Can I see?" He asked, going to lift the laptop lid up.

"No!" Santana yelled quickly and pulled the laptop away from him.

"Okay," Kurt chuckled. "I was only going to take a look at what game you were playing San. It has never stopped you before. You're either on something completely different or it is something that you shouldn't be on. Are you just saying it was a game to get me off of your back about it? Which one are you going to go with here?"

"Back off, Kurt," Santana said. "I told you that it was a game so just leave it."

"Well, if it's a game then let me see," Kurt ordered, going to grab the laptop off her but Santana just moved it away again.

"Back off, Kurt," she repeated. "I always ask for permission to see your computer and if you say no, I accept it so accept my decision and that decision is no to looking."

"Okay, fine," Kurt sighed. "I'll back off with whatever you are doing."

"I'm playing a game," Santana lied again.

"Yeah." Kurt nodded his head. "And I believe you."

"Was there something else that you wanted?" Santana asked. "Because I would just like to be on my own right now if that's okay with you."

"I came to apologise with what I said in there," Kurt told her. "It was supposed to come out as a joke but I can see how it came out and I feel really bad for saying it."

"It's fine," Santana mumbled and shrugged her shoulders. "I'm over it, whatever."

"Great," Kurt said with a smile. "I don't like it when you're angry with me so thanks for accepting my apology. Now, will you come back out and just finish eating with us? We don't want you stuck in here for the rest of the night so please come out."

"Fine," Santana sighed. "But only for a little while, deal?" Kurt nodded as Santana got up and walked out of her bedroom, Kurt following.

Santana was taking a shower that night and Rachel was in the kitchen doing the dishes. Kurt knew that he shouldn't but he subtly and slowly crept into Santana's bedroom and went to sit down on the bed, lifting the laptop lid. The website about losing weight quickly suddenly popped up on the screen.

"What?" Kurt asked as he read the ten top tips. He squinted his eyes in confusion and scrolled down the page. "Why is she looking up sites like this?" He asked himself quietly. He then suddenly heard Santana coming out of the bathroom and quickly closed the laptop before standing up. Santana walked in, causing him to jump.

"What are you doing in here?" She asked. She'd changed in the bathroom but her wet hair was wrapped up in a towel.

"Oh...um...I was just checking whether you had any cups or anything else because I was going to do the dishes," he lied quickly, biting his lip nervously.

"Really?" Santana asked and crossed her arms.

"Yeah but I can see that you don't have anything," he continued. "So I'm going to go."

"Funny that," Santana giggled a little. "Because Rachel washed up the things earlier and she checked all of the rooms to see if they had anything in them so I know that you are lying right now."

"Oh, she...she did...didn't she?" He stuttered out.

"What are you doing in my room?" Santana spat viciously at him.

"Okay um...I'm just going to say it," he said, taking a breath. "Why are you looking at losing weight quickly websites?"

"You went through my laptop?" She questioned and glared at him. "What is wrong with you? Everything on there is private, you should never have looked and quite frankly it is none of your business."

"Come on San," Kurt sighed. "If you want to lose weight then that is up to you but looking at websites like that is never the right thing sweetie, you don't even need to go on a diet."

"I would like you to get out of my room now, please," Santana hissed, gritting her teeth together. "I am done talking about this, I want you to get out and don't ever come in here again if I am not here. Do you understand me?" Kurt hesitated but noticed Santana glare at him. He nodded and walked out of her bedroom. Santana shut the door behind him and glanced over at her laptop. She bit her lip and picked it up, shoving it and locking it away in a secret box under her bed.


	2. Little White Lies

**Doodle91xxx: Glad you like it so far and yeah same, I would hate it if anyone looked through my laptop without asking. Thanks for reviewing :)**

**Guest: I will update them but I do have writers block on them at the moment**

**gomez26: Thank you :) **

Chapter Two: Little White Lies

Rachel was sat at the kitchen table the next morning tucking into a bowl of cereal whilst Kurt was busy cooking up a couple of bacon sandwiches for him and Santana. Santana then walked into the kitchen, washed and dressed and poured herself a glass of apple juice.

"Hey, I made you and I a couple of bacon sandwiches," Kurt said with a smile. "Whilst Rachel sits there and eats her boring, old cereal. It's on the table, sweetie."

"Oh, I'm okay thanks," Santana told him, sipping at her drink. "I'm not having one this morning."

"Okay," Kurt said, confused. "But you normally have one."

"I'm not having one today," Santana said. "So please don't make me."

Kurt sighed deeply. "Is this about that website I found on your laptop last night?" He asked. "Because that is just being silly, I told you that you don't need to be looking at that stuff."

"Hold up," Rachel said as she finished her breakfast. "What website?"

"You haven't told her?" Santana asked Kurt. "I'm surprised actually."

"Will someone please tell me what the two of you are talking about?" Rachel snapped at them both, looking from Kurt to Santana.

Kurt sighed once again. "San has been looking up websites that will tell her how to lose weight quickly and this is why she doesn't want to eat breakfast...because of that."

Rachel turned to Santana. "Aren't those sights like really, really dangerous? You shouldn't be looking at them, Santana."

"I am going to tell you what I told Kurt," Santana said. "I can do what I like. You guys are not my parents so you need to back the hell off, okay? I will do what I want and when I want so I will tell you again to back off."

"Don't do this," Kurt whispered softly and calmly. "You don't need to lose weight and I have already told you that."

Santana just gulped the rest of her apple juice down and slammed the empty glass down onto the table before walking out of the kitchen. Kurt sighed and glanced at the two, almost cold bacon sandwiches before looking towards Rachel.

"Leave her," Rachel ordered him. "She'll come out when she's ready and she will eat when she's hungry so just please, leave her."

"I'm just worried," he said and shrugged his shoulders. "She doesn't need to lose weight." Rachel nodded in agreement, remaining silent. "So, why is she looking at that stuff online then? There can't be any other reason. First that and now the bacon sandwich."

"Just don't make a big deal out of it," Rachel said. "I know that you're worried about her but worrying and making a big thing out of it will make her all defensive. You know what she's like."

"Yeah, I guess," Kurt sighed and folded his arms across his chest. "Want a bacon sandwich? I have a spare."

"I'm a vegan," she reminded him.

"Sorry," he apologised. "I might as well have both, it just seems a shame to waste one you know?"

"San might want it later," Rachel said.

"I think she made it pretty clear that she wasn't going to eat it," Kurt said and began to eat his bacon sandwich in silence.

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_Why does Kurt have to worry so much? Why the hell does he have to force me to eat? I don't want breakfast, especially a fatty, bacon sandwich. Rachel and Kurt may say that I am fine the way I am but I know that I need to lose weight. I've been forced to be perfect my whole entire life. I was on the Cheerio's and my parents always wanted me to be skinny and popular. If I'm so skinny, why did I never make cheer captain? Why was Cruz always the favourite child? New York just gives me a chance to change my life and become the girl I never was. It's a new start for me, starting from now._

_Santana xxx_

Santana sighed deeply and closed her diary shut before shoving it under her pillow. Her diary was like her best friend. No one knew that she kept one; not her parents, not Kurt and Rachel, not even Quinn or Brittany. She'd started writing in it when she started high school and now, she wrote in it almost everyday. It was a best friend who told no one her secrets, a friend who she could trust with absolutely anything.

Santana knelt down on the floor beside her bed and pulled the drawer out from underneath. Inside were three, tiny, leather bound notebooks and beside them was a plastic bag full of chocolate, candy, mini cupcakes and other junk food. Shutting her eyes and whimpering to herself, she shoved the drawer back under and ran a hand through her hair.

"What's wrong with you?" A voice behind her asked, making her jump. She turned round and saw Rachel standing there.

"Sorry," she apologised, running a hand through her hair once again. "Headache."

"What are you doing on the floor?" She asked.

"I was just looking for something," Santana lied quickly. She always had been good at telling lies. "Have you finished breakfast?"

"Yeah." Rachel nodded her head. "Look, what are you doing today?"

"Nothing."

"Seeing as we all have a day off, Kurt and I were thinking of heading out to the mall so do you want to come?" Santana nodded with a smile. "Good, we'll probably leave around twelve so be ready then, okay?"

"I will be," Santana promised as Rachel walked out of her bedroom. She didn't seem as pushy as Kurt usually did. He would have literally stood there in front of the doorway until Santana told the truth. Luckily, Rachel wasn't like that.

Santana was actually quite pleased to be heading to the mall with Kurt and Rachel. Unfortunately for her, they stopped by at a cafe before they actually shopped. Kurt and Rachel both ordered a sandwich but Santana stuck with a glass of water.

"You must be starving," Kurt said.

"No." Santana shook her head, although her stomach was growling and talking to her. "I'm not."

"So, what shop are we going to look in first?" Rachel asked, trying to ease the tension by changing the subject quickly.

"What about...Tiffany's?" Kurt beamed to himself.

"Sounds like a plan," Santana said. "I could do with some bling."

"Have you seen the cost of their bling?" Rachel asked.

"My mom gave me that money, didn't she?" Santana reminded the both of them.

"Wasn't that money to pay for college or living?" Kurt asked but Santana just shrugged her shoulders. "Okay then. Has everyone finished?"

"I am," Rachel said, finishing off her drink.

"Yeah, me too," Santana added. "Shall we head to Tiffany's?"

"Sure," Rachel giggled. "Let's go."


	3. Arguments and Fainting

**Doodle91xxx: Haha same here and yeah, thank god for Rachel :)**

**Drmiracle: Thank you :)**

**gomez96: Yeah I like that idea too :)**

**Juliet: Aww, thank you so much :) a special update here just for you**

**Holdonandstaystrong: Love your pen name. Glad you like the story :)**

**Jemiisforever: Thanks for reviewing :)**

Chapter Three: Arguments and Fainting

"Has Santana not woken up yet?" Kurt asked as he walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth. Rachel was in the shower but the curtain was covering her up and she never normally minded if Kurt shared. They spoke to each other through the curtain.

"Not yet," Rachel called through. "What are you doing in here?"

"Brushing my teeth," he called back. "You don't mind, do you?"

"You know I don't," she laughed. "Is Santana okay? I mean, shouldn't one of us go and just check on her quickly?"

"I'll give it about five minutes and if she still hasn't woken up, I'll go in," Kurt said, squirting the toothpaste onto his toothbrush and beginning to brush his teeth. The door then opened and Santana walked in, still in her pyjamas. "Here she is. I was about to come and check on you, missy."

"Can you two leave?" Santana asked. "I need to use the bathroom."

"Can't you wait?" Rachel asked from in the shower.

"No, I need to use the scales," Santana said.

"You can use them in here with us," Kurt said, turning round to face her but he noticed the panic stricken look on her face. "Take them through to your bedroom, go on," he sighed.

"I can't." She shook her head. "There's carpet in there and they need to be used on an even, hard floor like the bathroom floor."

"Well, I've finished brushing my teeth," Kurt sighed in annoyance and placed his toothbrush on the side. "Rachel!" He shouted.

"I'm done," Rachel said, climbing out of the shower in her towel. "Go." She then walked out with Kurt following. Santana shut the door behind them and stepped up onto the scales. When she had finished, she pulled a small notepad from the pocket in her gown and noted down her weight. She then put her notebook back and headed back into the living room. Kurt and Rachel weren't in there but the kitchen door was shut. She tip-toed over and stopped outside the door, listening in on their conversation.

"I'm worried about her," Kurt was whispering. "Can't you tell that it's getting way too far now?"

"I know," Rachel sighed. "Maybe we should call a doctor, or someone. She clearly needs help because this weight obsession is..." Before Rachel could even finish, Santana pushed the door open and stormed inside. "Santana?"

"Weight obsession?" She questioned. "I do not have a weight obsession!" She yelled and slammed the door shut behind her. "Just because I care about how I look and want to eat healthily!"

"But you're not though," Kurt pointed out. "You're not eating at all, Santana!"

"Shut up!" Santana screamed. "It is none of your fucking business and I am not seeing a fucking doctor about any of this so just fucking back off and stop going on about it?"

"Can you calm down," Rachel said in a soft, gentle voice.

"NO!" She shouted. "I will not fucking calm down! I have a reason to be upset..." She began, her voice breaking a little, tears starting to stream down both sides of her face. "You both think that I am crazy! I only wanted to check my weight! Is that too much to ask? Why else would we have scales in the fucking bathroom?"

"Santana..." Kurt went to say.

"No," she cried. "I...I...I don't feel well..." Her voice turned to a small whisper and she suddenly fell forwards, Kurt quickly catching her so she wouldn't hit the floor.

"Alright," he sighed, holding her upright and guiding her to a chair. "Alright, put your head on the table...Slowly!" He yelled as he saw Santana about to just fall and whack her head against the hard, wooden table. He knelt down next to her and rubbed her back as she rested her head against the table and closed her eyes a little. "Can you get her a glass of water?"

"Yeah." Rachel nodded. She suddenly realised that she still had the towel wrapped round her but that didn't bother her in the slightest. She quickly grabbed Santana cold glass of water and placed it on the table in front of her. Santana went to reach for it but Kurt took it instead before she knocked it over.

"Take a small sip," he whispered, holding it to her mouth. Santana slowly raised her head and Kurt helped her drink. "Better?"

"Dizzy," she murmured, running a hand down her face.

"Just go slowly," he comforted her. He felt the need to give her a full blown lecture on how starving herself had gotten out of hand but now just didn't seem the right time for it. First, Santana was upset and then she'd gone and suddenly passed out on him. "You'll feel alright in a bit." Rachel left the kitchen and came back with a cushion from the couch. She placed it on the table and Santana slowly laid her head down onto it. "Thanks Rach," Kurt thanked her. "You can go and get changed."

"Sure?" She asked and Kurt nodded so Rachel left, leaving the two of them alone.

"Feeling better now?" Kurt asked, gently rubbing Santana's arm comfortingly.

"Yeah," she managed. "Thank you."

"You need to eat something..."

"Just..." Santana started and held a hand up to him. "Don't, please." Kurt nodded and kissed her cheek, resting his head against her shoulder and rubbing at her arm with his thumb. "You okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, you just scared me that's all," he sighed with a smile. "I'm glad you're okay but why don't you head back to bed, huh? I'll come and check on you in a bit."

"Can you um...Can you just come and stay with me, please?" She asked in a choked up voice. "I still don't feel too good."

"Course I can," he said and helped Santana stand up. He took the glass of water, placed an arm round her shoulder and led her back through to her bedroom. Santana climbed into bed slowly and Kurt placed the drink on the bedside table. He fluffed up her pillows and tucked her comfortingly before kissing her forehead. There was an old stuffed bear sitting on the shelf on the wall so he picked that up and tucked it in beside her before sitting on the edge and taking hold of her hand. Santana smiled as he stroked her hair and watched as she peacefully drifted off to sleep.

"She okay?" Rachel asked, walking in. She was now changed into some old jeans and a t-shirt.

"She will be," Kurt said. "I'm just going to stay with her for a while, until she wakes up." Rachel nodded and walked over to hug Kurt. Kurt hugged her back and then gently squeezed Santana's hand, feeling her gently squeeze back.


	4. Unhealthy Exercise

**Doodle91xxx: Thank you and I also love how protective those two are :)**

**jemiisforever: You're welcome, I'm glad that you like the story :)**

**Holdonandstaystrong: Haha it's the first thing I thought of as well, I was going to actually add that line in but decided not to :)**

**Juliet: Yeah, I hope so too :)**

**Abby: Awww, thanks so much. That means a lot :)**

Chapter Four: Unhealthy Exercise

Kurt jumped as the door to the apartment slammed shut loudly. He spun round and saw Santana walking in, dressed in shorts, a tank top and a zip up jacket. He glanced towards her bedroom and then back towards her in confusion.

"What?" Santana asked.

"I thought that you were asleep," he said slowly, still confused. "It's seven in the morning, where on earth have you been?"

"Out for a run," Santana told him.

"How long have you been gone for?" Kurt questioned her. "It's a bit early for running, isn't it?"

"Um...two hours?" Santana said, deep in thought. "Yeah, two hours."

"You went for a two hour run at five in the flipping morning?" Kurt asked, his eyes widening in shock. "Are you kidding me, Lopez? You cannot go for a long run at that time of the morning, you could have passed out."

"I'm fine," she said. "It felt nice, I'm just going to hit the shower though now." Kurt just stood in complete shock as Santana walked out of the kitchen and headed into the bathroom. He listened as he felt the water running and Rachel came in.

"Was that San?" She asked.

"Yeah." Kurt nodded.

"I heard the front door, where had she gone?"

"For a two hour run," Kurt said and Rachel's eyes went wide, same as Kurt's had. "Yeah, exactly. She got up at five in the morning, went for a run and didn't get back until seven. I'm getting seriously worried about her now."

"Leave it, you know what happens if you confront her about it," Rachel said. "She gets all defensive and it makes things ten times worst."

"Yeah, I guess," Kurt sighed deeply and just carried on with breakfast.

* * *

It got worst that night. Rachel walked out of her bedroom to see Santana lying on the floor of the living room, doing sit ups. She stood in the doorway of her room and watched her for a while before speaking.

"What are you doing?" She questioned.

"What?" Santana jumped and sat up before lying back down again. "God, now I have to start all over again!"

"What do you mean?"

"You distracted me," Santana said. "I was trying to get to one hundred and I was at like seventy two."

"Seventy two? Really, Santana?" Rachel asked, shocked. "Isn't it time that you stopped now? You're going to injure yourself or make yourself pass out?"

"I'll be fine," Santana reassured her. "Now, if you would excuse me," she said and began doing her sit ups again. Rachel rolled her eyes and headed into the kitchen to see Kurt at the table so she guessed that he already knew what she was doing.

"And you didn't stop her?" Rachel asked.

"Believe me, I tried," he said. "She just snapped at me, saying that she needed to make it to one hundred."

"Yeah, she said that to me too," Rachel said and sat down beside her. "I know that I keep saying not to say anything because it will make matters worst but maybe it's about time we should now. We could at least talk to a doctor about it, it's getting way out of hand now."

"Don't you think I know that?" Kurt whispered. "I'm just fed up. What is this unhealthy obsession with losing weight all of a sudden?" His voice trailed off as Santana walked in. "Hey, finished?"

"I know that you're all talking about me, you know?" Santana said, folding her arms across her chest. "You may be whispering but I can still hear you."

"I am just going to come right out and say it," Kurt said. "Rachel and I are extremely worried about you and like really worried, we mean that."

"Why?" Santana shrugged her shoulders. "I'm fine, you don't need to worry."

"We do worry though, Santana. Yes, exercise is good for you but this sort is actually unhealthy especially when you're not even eating," Rachel pointed out. "Getting up at five in the morning to go for a run, doing sit ups in the middle of the day, refusing to eat..."

"Shut up," Santana hissed at the two of them. "I am fine. Do you hear me? I care about what I look like and if I think that I need to lose weight then I do. I'm nineteen for crying out loud, I can do what the hells I want so just shut up and leave it, okay?"

"Okay," Kurt sighed, giving in straight away. "You do what you want but just so you know, Rachel and I will be talking to a doctor about all of this."

"You can't do that," Santana said.

"Actually, we can," Rachel said. "If we think that you need help and if we need help with dealing with it, we can talk to a doctor."

"I'm going out," Santana scoffed, going to leave.

"Where exactly?" Kurt asked.

"Just out!" Santana yelled and she grabbed her jacket before storming out of the apartment, slamming the door on her way.


	5. Anorexia

**Doodle91xxx: Yeah they do, hope San gets better :)**

**Holdonandstaystrong: Yeah me too and I'm sure she'll get help :)**

**Jemiisforever: Glad you liked the chapter :)**

**Juliet: Thank you so much and more to come :)**

**Santanalover16: I haven't actually decided on that yet. What do you think?**

Chapter Five: Anorexia

"I'm home!" Rachel called as she walked through the door of the apartment, shutting it behind her. She hung up her coat and glanced around, confused when she didn't get an answer from anyone. "Guys?" She questioned and walked towards the bathroom. The door was slightly ajar so she pushed it open and walked in to see Santana kneeling on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet, throwing up into it. Kurt was stood behind her, holding her hair back into a ponytail. "Hey," Rachel greeted, leaning against the doorframe with her arms folded across her chest.

"Oh hey, Rachel," Kurt said back to her, looking over his shoulder. "I didn't hear you come in."

"I called out but no one answered," Rachel told him. "Is she okay?"

"Don't even ask," Kurt mumbled and shook his head. "It's been like this all day."

"What's wrong with her?" Rachel asked.

"She's not eating," Kurt sighed. "Again. The hunger is just taking over and her body reacted to that. I think I've lost count of the amount of times she's thrown up today, she's weak but won't eat anything at all. She's taken a few sips of water but that's it." Rachel just faintly nodded. "All done now, sweetie?" Kurt asked Santana who nodded and slowly stood up. "Come on, swill your mouth out," Kurt said and handed her a glass of water.

"Thanks," Santana thanked him and took the cup, swilling her mouth out.

"Come on San," Rachel said with a smile and held her arm out. "Let's get you on the couch and we'll get you a bucket so you haven't got to keep going to the toilet. You look like you're about to fall over any minute right now."

"Thanks Rachel," Santana chuckled. "Is that your way of telling me I look like shit then, is it?"

"No, of course not," Rachel said.

Santana laughed. "I'm joking, Rach. I know that I look like shit because I feel like it too."

"I'm sure it will pass in a minute," Rachel said and helped Santana lie down on the couch. She covered her over with a blanket and Kurt grabbed her a fresh glass of water and a bucket to put on the floor next to her. It wasn't long until Santana actually fell asleep so Kurt and Rachel slowly made their way into the kitchen for a chat.

"She seems a lot better now," Rachel whispered quietly.

"She wasn't earlier, I'll tell you," Kurt whispered back. "I don't think I can put up with this for much longer, I hate seeing her like this."

"I know, me too," Rachel said. "All we can do though is be there for her and make her as comfortable as possible and not force her into anything."

"I know, I just hope she realises what she's doing soon and stops before it gets any worst."

Rachel nodded her head in agreement. "Yeah, me too. Do you think we should try and get her some help? I was in the NYADA library doing some research today and people have died of Anorexia because they never got the help soon enough."

"You think she's anorexic?" Kurt asked in shock, crossing his arms. "Rachel, don't. She isn't anorexic, alright? I know."

"Yeah," Rachel sighed and stood with her hand on her hip. "How then?" She asked, shrugging her shoulders at him. "How do you know that she isn't anorexic? Come on, Kurt. Tell me."

Kurt sighed. "I just know, okay? Santana isn't anorexic and I don't like that you are thinking that she is. She's just sick and will break the habit soon, I know she will. She's not like those other girl's you see in those leaflets or on TV, I just know."

"Look, Kurt," Rachel sighed. "I know it's hard for you because it's hard for me too but when are you going to just stop? There has to be a time where you have to stop and admit that Santana is showing all of the signs; only eating small amounts or not eating at all, she plays with her food more than she eats it, she comes up with excuses after excuses so she gets out of eating, she's obsessed with reading food magazines and she has cooking channels on, not forgetting that she is constantly doing research on ways she can lose weight quickly, always doing exercises for hours and hours. Her clothes are even getting bigger on her and she's getting moodier each and every day, all these are different signs that we have been blocking away because we don't want to admit that something is wrong but it is now time to stop hiding away and get her the help she needs. We need to work together now, Kurt so please help me. Santana needs help and we will get her the help she needs...r...right?"

Kurt nodded his head faintly and sat down in a chair. "I failed," he whispered. "I failed to keep her safe and happy."

"This isn't your fault," Rachel said and shook her head. "It's no one's fault, it is just one of those things that takes over and you can't control it unfortunately."

"I know, I know," Kurt said, running a hand through his hair. Santana soon walked in and took a seat beside Kurt. "Hey San," Kurt said. "Didn't think you'd be up just yet to be honest."

"I couldn't sleep," Santana said. "I've just been laying there and when I couldn't take it anymore, I just thought I'd get up."

"Sorry you couldn't sleep, San," Rachel apologised. "Do you want me to get you something to help you sleep? Hot drink?"

"No, I'm fine." Santana shook her head. "There's no point anymore, I'll just rest it up." Rachel smiled and nodded her head.

* * *

The three of them were sitting on the couch later, watching a movie. Santana was under a blanket and had her head resting on Kurt's shoulder.

"What were you guys talking about earlier?" Santana soon spoke up. "You guys looked deep in conversation, you were talking about me, weren't you?"

"Nothing for you to worry about, okay?" Kurt whispered softly, stroking her hair comfortingly. "We were just saying that we will always be there for each other, no matter what and then Rachel was talking about something that I wasn't really taking much notice."

"Something to do with Broadway then?" Santana guessed.

Kurt laughed. "Probably."

"Hey, don't be rude you two" Rachel whined and playfully hit each of them on the shoulder. "I can't help it that I have a very strong passion for Broadway so shut up." Santana and Kurt just laughed.

"I know that you're both lying," Santana said. "I know that it was about me, you guys think that you talk quietly but you don't and I heard every word that you said and I am not getting help, not now, not ever. We can keep having this same discussion every time but it's not going to change my mind and the quicker you guys get that then the quicker we move on. Got it?"

Kurt and Rachel just sat there, staring at the Latina in shock. They really weren't sure what to do.


	6. Skinny Love

**Doodle91xxx: Yeah I love how supportive Rachel and Kurt are :) I just love their characters in general.**

**Holdonandstaystrong: Yeah I hope so too :)**

**Jemiisforever: Me too, especially a friend like Kurt. That would be awesome :)**

**Hey guys, sorry for the long wait in an update. I hope you all appreciate that updates will be very slow now because of uni. I have been extremely stressed and although writing relaxes me, I haven't even had time to do that. I've had a bad couple of weeks and as I have a free evening before my early night (ready for my 5am start), I thought that I would relax by updating a fanfic so here you go and enjoy.**

**I wrote this chapter to the song, Skinny Love (hence the title). I wasn't feeling very creative to come up with my own title, lol. It may also be quite sad because the song is sad. **

Chapter Six: Skinny Love

Santana slowly opened her bedroom door slightly, wincing and shutting her eyes as she heard it creak. She really hoped that it didn't wake Kurt and Rachel but when she heard no answer, she sighed a sigh of relief and tip-toed out into the living room. She walked quietly past the coffee table and the couch and into the open kitchen area. The refrigerator stored a huge tub of vanilla ice-cream and in the bottom were some chocolate brownies that Rachel had made for her and Kurt, to celebrate. Santana couldn't even remember what they were celebrating when she made them but that didn't matter. She placed the brownies and the ice-cream on the kitchen table and emptied the cupboards, finding anything that could be labelled as 'junk' food; chips, sweets, candy bars, other chocolate, anything at all.

Santana picked up one of the candy bars and unwrapped it slowly, listening to the wrapper crunch in her fist. She chucked that into the bin and sniffed the milky, warm chocolate before holding it to her lips. Taking a small bite, she chewed slowly, already feeling sick at the taste. She finished it in two bites before starting on a brownie. Once she'd managed quite a big amount of chocolate, she opened up the tub of ice-cream. She grabbed a spoon and started demolishing it as quickly as she possibly could.

The great grandfather clock went.

1...2...3...nothing. It was 3:00 in the morning. Santana dropped the lid of the ice-cream tub onto the floor and wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand. She held onto her stomach and dashed for the bathroom, tripping over her own feet on the way. Once inside, she shut the door and stuck two of her fingers straight down the back of her throat. Coughing and spluttering, she vomited weakly into the toilet.

"Santana?" Kurt's voice called from outside. Santana stopped being sick and managed to call back to him in a weak, quiet voice.

"What?"

Kurt pushed the door open and sighed when he saw the state that Santana was in. He didn't look shocked though. He'd heard her from outside so he pretty much knew what was going on.

"Come on babe," he whispered and smiled across at her. "Let's go for a drive."

* * *

Kurt drove through the dark and windy countryside with Santana sitting in the passenger seat of the car. Both of them were still in the pyjamas and although they were wearing coats, they hoped that they wouldn't break down or have to leave the vehicle for any reason. As they drove, Santana stared out of the window.

"My abuela used to do this," Santana said. "I used to stay round her house on weekends and sometimes I'd have nightmares and she would come into my room and just sit with me until I stopped crying and then she'd just pick me up and take me downstairs." Santana finished talking and began to cry. "She'd say that we were going for a drive and she'd wrap a blanket round me and hand me a hot chocolate and take me for a drive out in the dark. She'd sing to me and try to make me laugh and we'd just drive about until I was okay again."

"That's lovely, San." Kurt smiled. "I've not heard that story before, looks like we're following tradition."

"I guess we are," Santana whispered and shrugged her shoulders. "I've always wanted to share something like that with someone."

"I've never had that," Kurt said. "Before my mom passed away, she'd just lay with me if I was ill or if I had a nightmare or a hard day at school. She'd hug me and then put on a musical because she knew that I loved them."

"That's just you all over, huh?" Santana laughed.

"About tonight?" Kurt changed subject and looked towards Santana before turning his attention back to driving.

"I just wanted to make myself feel better," Santana admitted quietly. "I look at myself every day and I just think that I don't deserve any of this because of how I have been in the past. People look at me and all I think is that they see me as the girl I was in high school, they see me as a monster and I can't handle it so I do this but I...I can't stop, Kurt."

"I want you to know that we don't think of you as that girl anymore, Santana," Kurt said. "You know we don't. You have changed so much. You are caring, you make us laugh and you're strong, you are so much more. Me, you and Rachel are family, it's us three against the world and no one else matters."

"Brittany didn't see it that way, huh? I told her that it wasn't an official break up and when I gave her the choice, she chose Sam."

"I am glad that you're not with Brittany anymore," Kurt said. "I know that you loved her and you must miss her terribly but you can move on with your life and maybe date someone who loves you for you and lives in New York and not long distance."

"I just...If I have never broken up with her, she would have never gone with Sam," Santana stuttered.

"It would have happened eventually," Kurt told her. "You went to college, she didn't graduate." Santana nodded faintly as Kurt took one of his hands off of the steering wheel and gave Santana's hand a gentle squeeze.

"Are we heading back now then?" Santana asked, smiling at his touch.

"Not yet." He shook his head. "You'll see."

Kurt pulled up in a small car park overlooking a small beach. The cliffs overlooked the light, blue water and sand and the moon shone down on the sea as if it was guarding it protectively.

"It's beautiful," Santana said, smiling out into the distance.

"I know," Kurt said.

"How do you know about this place?" She asked him.

"I came to New York once, when my mom was still alive," he said. "It was here that she told me she had cancer."

"I'm sorry," Santana said sympathetically. "I didn't think you'd still come here, if that..."

"I know," he cut her off. "But sometimes, coming here makes me relax and I know it sounds odd but whenever I come here, I talk to my mom and sometimes I can hear her reply."

"It's beautiful," Santana repeated herself. Kurt switched the engine off and Santana sighed deeply, resting her head against his shoulder.

"You're beautiful," Kurt told her. "And you'll be okay princess, I know you will."

"How do you know?" Santana asked.

"Because you're Santana Lopez," he reminded her. "The strongest person I know. If I can carry on without my mom, then for you anything is possible."


	7. Hospital

**Doodle91xxx: Thank you and I loved writing the car scene, glad you like it still :)**

**Holdonandstaystrong: I'm glad I'm back too, glad you liked the chapter :)**

**Jemiisforever: So glad you're still up to date with the story! :)**

**Guest: Thank you :)**

**Abby: Haha, so do I :)**

**I've missed Fanfiction, been so busy haha :) enjoy the chapter. **

Chapter Seven: Hospital

"Sweetie, can you hear me?" Kurt whispered soothingly as he gave Santana a gentle shake and rubbed her back. Santana was lying on the floor of the living room in her pyjamas, slippers and robe whilst Kurt was sat next to her. "Rach, can you get me the flashlight please? I think it's in the kitchen."

"Sure." Rachel nodded her head and walked into the kitchen. She came back and handed Kurt the flashlight who went and shone it into Santana's eyes before handing it back to Rachel.

"She's out cold, we need to call an ambulance," Kurt sighed, shaking his head.

"But it's two in the morning," Rachel pointed out, stating the obvious.

"You can go back to bed if you want," Kurt said, walking over to the phone and dialling for an ambulance before going to sit back next to Santana. "I'll take care of her."

"No," Rachel said with a smile. "I'm coming too, Kurt. What happened anyway?"

"I don't know," Kurt said as he held the phone to his ear. "I was on my way to the bathroom and found she'd collapsed, I don't know how long she's been like it. Hey, ambulance please," he said as someone answered the phone. "Yeah, my friend has collapsed and she isn't waking up. No, she's not bleeding." He reached out and checked her pulse. "Faintly, yes."

"Tell them she hasn't been eating," Rachel hissed at him.

"I'm going to," he replied quietly. "Yeah, I don't know, I've only just found her like this. She's not been eating though and a couple of days ago she was making herself throw up." Rachel's eyes widened as he said that. "Yeah, okay." He looked up at Rachel as he gave the address of where they lived. "And my name is Kurt Hummel. Yeah, yeah just call back on this number if there's a problem. Thanks." He hung up the phone and gave it to Rachel to put back.

"Are they on their way?" She asked and Kurt nodded, stroking Santana's hair. "When was she making herself throw up?"

"The other night," Kurt admitted to her with a sigh. "I walked in on her and there was loads of junk food in the kitchen and stuff so I assumed she'd done it herself. I took her out for a drive which seemed to make her feel better."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to worry you, Rach," Kurt said as he heard a whimper beside him. "San?" He asked as Santana's eyes began opening wearily. "Sweetie, hey, take it easy."

"What happened?" She managed.

"You passed out," Rachel told her. "The ambulance is on it's way."

"Ambulance?"

"Yeah, we're getting you to a hospital," Kurt said.

"Hospital?"

There was soon a knock on the door before Kurt could reply. Rachel went over to answer it and two paramedics came in with a stretcher and other supplies ready for the hospital.

"She's just woken up," Kurt informed them, moving Santana so her head was resting on his lap.

"Try not to move her," the woman paramedic said and knelt down beside them. "Santana, I'm Lisa, alright? We're just going to have a look at you and then we'll get you into the ambulance, can you tell me how old you are please?"

"Nineteen," Santana managed in a quiet whisper.

"Okay that's great love, are you in any pain at all?" She asked and Santana shook her head. "Okay, well we're going to get you to the hospital but don't worry, you will be absolutely fine. You say she hasn't been eating?" She then asked Kurt who nodded. "Okay, are your friends coming with you Santana?"

"Yes please," Santana said and for the first time ever, she didn't sound like the old Santana Lopez. Instead, she just sounded weak and scared.

* * *

"Is she alright?" Rachel asked as the doctor took her and Kurt to one side. Santana was lying in her hospital bed and it was now five in the morning. "Like, um...will she..."

"She'll be fine," the doctor reassured her. "But she has lost an awful lot of weight, I am afraid. Has she not eaten at all?"

"No," Kurt whispered. "And if she did, she tried to make herself sick afterwards."

"Why did you not bring her in sooner?" The doctor asked sternly.

"Santana refused to get help," Rachel sighed. "She didn't think that there was anything wrong with her."

"Anorexia is very serious," the doctor said. "Now, I know that Santana won't want to hear this but we are going to have to have her admitted to another hospital where they can help her properly?"

"What?" Kurt asked.

"Your friend is extremely thin, she's been refusing to eat and making herself sick," the doctor said. "She needs to be taken care of by professionals. I know that you two are trying to help her the best way you can but...it's not enough for her, I'm afraid." Kurt shook his head and stormed straight out of the hospital.

"Can I um...Can I go after him?" Rachel asked and the doctor nodded at her. "If Santana wakes up, tell her that...that we'll be in as soon as we can." He nodded again and Rachel walked out after Kurt. He was sitting on a bench outside with his arms folded across his chest. "Are you okay?" She asked and sat down beside him.

"What do you think?" He snapped, shocking the brunette a little bit. "Sorry, I just...why didn't we talk to a doctor earlier or try and help her more?"

"We did all that we could," Rachel whispered.

"Now, she has to be admitted to a mental hospital where she can be treated for Anorexia!"

"Not a mental hospital, exactly," Rachel said. "But they can help her better there, we've done enough Kurt and we can't do anything else. I'm sorry."

"Guess you're right," he said quietly and sighed deeply, tears streaming down his cheeks. "It just won't be the same, it'll be quiet without her insulting us constantly."

"I know," Rachel giggled. "But the quicker she gets help, then the quicker she can come home and back to us, her family."


	8. Hearing Her Voice

**Eliana36: Hey, I do like Lisa Cimorelli and the whole of that band :)**

**Doodle91xxx: Same here, I just wanted to hug her. Glad you liked the chapter :)**

**Guest: Thank you :)**

**Jemiisforever: Yeah it is good :)**

**Holdonandstaystrong: Haha I hate not being able to update, I really do. Glad that I was missed :)**

**Guest: Honestly, I still love Naya :) but I think that she has lost an incredible amount of weight. I mean, she's always been tiny and skinny but lately she hasn't actually looked well, I'll be honest :)**

Chapter Eight: Hearing Her Voice

Santana sighed deeply and threw her blue, zip up jacket into her suitcase. Kurt was sat on the bed beside her, folding up some of her other clothes before handing them over. He stood up and picked up a photograph of the three of them together and smiled.

"Not taking this with you?" He asked, holding it up and Santana shook her head. "Why not? The doctors said that you could take anything you like, didn't they?"

"Brings back memories," Santana whispered and took the photograph from him before sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I...I might take it actually, I loved that day."

"Yeah," Kurt chuckled, rubbing her shoulder. "That was a good day, wasn't it?" Santana faintly nodded, wiping at both of her eyes and clutching the photo tightly to her chest with both hands. "Don't be sad," he said.

Santana shook her head. "I don't want to go."

"What are you so upset about?" Kurt asked. "I mean, you do have every right to be upset but are you more upset about what's happened, the hospital or...or what?"

"The fact that I'll be living away from you and Rachel," Santana admitted quietly. "And in hospital as well. I'll miss you both too much, I...I can't do it."

"I didn't know you got homesick," he said.

"I don't usually." Santana shrugged her shoulders and sniffed as Kurt came and sat down beside her. He wrapped an arm round her and she smiled and rested her head against his shoulder.

"You'll be okay, princess," he reassured her in a gentle, reassuring voice. "I will come and visit you every day and so will Rachel and you will get better in no time."

"You don't have to come every day," Santana told him, choking up a little.

"Well, I will try my best to come as often as I can," Kurt said. "But I'm sure that you will be pleased to get away from me and my ugly face for once, eh?" He gave her arm a squeeze, causing her to giggle a little bit. "There's that smile, feeling better?"

"A little," she said and lifted her head up. She turned back to her suitcase and put the photo in, glancing around the room.

"What about this?" Kurt asked, picking up the teddy bear on the bed and handing it to Santana. Santana bit her lip and carefully took it from him. "Santana Lopez has a teddy bear, never would have thought it."

"I got this for my sixth birthday," Santana sighed. "From Brittany."

Kurt was silent for a while before talking. "And you've had it all this time?" Santana nodded. "You miss her, don't you?"

"More than anything," Santana said with tears in her eyes. "It...It's stupid. I broke up with her and I...she's at college now so I should be happy for her, right?"

"Yeah but you have every reason to be upset and you only broke up with her because the long distance relationship wasn't working, you did the right thing," he comforted.

"I know." Santana nodded her head. "I just miss her and now that she's at college, we barely even Skype or anything anymore and we'll probably never see each other again either."

"You might do."

"I just wish that she knew what was going on with me, that's all," Santana said. "I kind of wish that I could say one last goodbye before I head to hospital."

"You want her to know that you're in hospital?" Kurt asked her.

"Not necessarily," Santana whispered and shrugged her shoulders. "I would just like to talk to her one last time, that's all."

Kurt smiled and picked up Santana's cell phone from the bed. He scrolled through her contacts and found Brittany's name before passing it over to her. Santana just stared at him for a second, not sure what he meant.

"Call her," he whispered quietly. "You'll regret it if you don't."

"She might not be able to answer me though," Santana whispered back.

"Just try," he said and tapped on Brittany's name, calling her.

Santana took a deep breath and took her phone from Kurt, holding it up to her ear. It rang for a long time and she wasn't even sure if Brittany would pick up at first. At last, Santana heard that voice that she had been waiting for.

"Britt?" She said quietly into the phone.

"Santana?" Brittany asked. "What...What's up? Why are you calling?"

"I...I just wanted to hear your voice," Santana said quietly, choking up and beginning to sob.

"Are you crying?" Brittany asked.

"It's just...I...I'm really happy," Santana cried as Kurt rubbed at her arm gently.

"I remember you saying that on our first date," Brittany giggled. "When we started officially dating."

"I did, didn't I?" Santana managed to laugh. "Yeah, I remember that. I miss you, Britt, I really do."

"I miss you too," Brittany said. "I hope you're getting on well with Kurt and Rachel."

"Yeah um...I probably won't be able to talk to you for a while," Santana said. "Which is why I'm calling."

"Sure, is everything okay?"

Santana paused. "Yeah," she lied. "I'm fine, I...I have to go now." She took another breath. "I love you."

"Love you too," Brittany said and Santana was sure that Brittany was smiling on the other end.

"Enjoy college," Santana whispered. "Bye." She removed the phone from her ear and ended the call before resting her head against Kurt's shoulder again. Kurt sighed and looked at her sympathetically, rubbing small circles up and down her back. He didn't really know how she was feeling but he was sure that she was feeling lonely, upset and absolutely terrified.

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter guys. I'm still feeling down, had a pretty crap week and stuff and upset over boys and everything. 19 and never had a boyfriend and that's getting to me and I'm stressed with uni work so updating kinda cheered me up. This isn't a Brittana fic but I thought that it was important to add Brittany into a small scene so hope you all liked that part. **


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